Ways To Overcome Stress

Stress is an ugly fact of life.

Stress is a wonderful motivator.

Which stress are we talking about? The first turns us into a cucumber, a miserable wrinkled cucumber. We lie down in the fetal position and quake.

The second causes us to go into business for our self and make a zillion dollars.

Well, let’s take them one at a time.

Ugly Stress

Example 1: Your boss says that your work is “unsatisfactory” and that if you don’t improve within the next evaluation period, you will be terminated.

Now the fact here is that the boss thinks that your work is “unsatisfactory” and that if you don’t improve within the next evaluation period, you will be terminated.

You must change his or her thinking.

Here is what I suggest. You sit down and think about how you can improve your image with your boss. Discuss this with associates if you trust them with your privacy and value their judgment. Write several items down on paper using a pen or pencil, not a computer keyboard. Scratch out the bad ones and ad a few more new ones. Now rate the list as to what is important and what is not important. Scratch out all but five of the best ones.

Now were there any items on the list that are personal like I’ll start using underarm deodorant? Scratch those items off the list. However, for heaven’s sake, start using underarm deodorant.

Go to the computer and write a memo telling your boss what you are going to do to improve your performance. What you are really doing is telling the boss what you are going to do to change his impression of you, but don’t say that. If you have a confident, show him the memo. Make changes if you are certain that your confident is right on possible changes.

When you have read the memo carefully and think that it is "good", sleep on it. If it still looks good in the morning, do not send the memo to your boss. Instead, make an appointment with him.

Take the memo with you to the appointment and tell your boss that you have thought over what he said about your performance and that you have prepared a list of things that will help you improve.

Ask him to go down the list and help you put into a final working form.

That means you are going to add his suggestions to the list.

If there is a time table for some items, then discuss this with your boss. If the boss suggest you remove an item because it is not a problem area, then that is in your favor. Remember that your boss may not be right in his or her evaluation but that he or she is the boss.

After the interview, you will have a deep feeling as to how effective you were in the interview, and you will know how your boss summed you up. If he or she has given you a hint of dissatisfaction, even with your efforts to improve, then you may not be able to change his or her mind. While you are working on your list, look for another job or see if you can transfer to another department in your company. You may have to play a little politics but you may not have to leave the company.

If you are trying to improve yourself, others in your company will notice. For example, if you decided to take an accounting class at the local junior college as part of your improvement program, then the word will get around that you are taking the class. If you decide to keep your hair combed, your shoes shined, and your breath sweet, or other things that were NOT on your list, then people will notice. It may not assure you success with your boss (it could), but it may assure you success in the company.

You might even get promoted to a position where your old boss is now working for you!

That is the best cure for some forms of stress: REVENGE! Hey! It’s payback time!

The last items is called a dream. Forget getting promoted over your boss and forget revenge. Just keep doing everything you can to improve yourself from now on and the rewards will be very satisfying

That is what this life is all about.

Example 2: You are chatting with your friend over a cup of cocoa when she (or he) says, “Mildred told the coffee clutch that you had an affair with Bruce Handsome over the summer. Mildred said that you were not going to his art class only for landscape painting instructions.”

You of course are shocked. How could they say that—or how did they find out? You will automatically say, “My—! Who said that? It’s just not true!”

On your way home you will be thinking, What if Harry (or Mary) finds out about this. He (or she) will call off our wedding. I could kill that Mildred Bodekker!

Now you are in a dimwitty. What should you do? (I invented the word “dimwitty” but you know what a dimwit is, one that can’t thing straight. In a situation like this, you just can’t think straight. You just want REVENGE.)

Since Mildred is a woman, I suggest that you write her a note. Ask what is her motivation for spreading untrue rumors about you to the coffee clutch. Tell her that you will be at the next coffee clutch and that you would like to hear her apology. Tell her that she may have jeopardized your upcoming wedding if the rumor spreads through the community.

You should expect a telephone call from Mildred. If she doesn’t call you, call her and tell her you want to sit down and talk with her. Do not talk with her on the telephone about the problem. Insist that she speak with you in person.

The above is a time consuming process. All the time you will be stressed out so you must do something about it. Items suggested are prayer, medication, exercise, talking with a confident (perhaps your minister), and watching old Three Stooges movies.

I say go to the driving range and knock that old Mildred off the tee for 300 yards!

Oh yes, if you are in politics, you may want to degrade the messenger. I think you should stay away from this. It will cause you much more stress and spread the rumor further.

Motivational Stress

Sometimes we put stress on ourselves to get certain things done. We get a bright business idea that will make us rich and we call out the horses and race for the objective. Also, your boss might say that he has an objective and that you must achieve it in a certain amount of time. You are very excited about the project and off you go working sixteen hours a day and on weekends.

Just as Ugly Stress can cause you untold misery, this Motivational Stress can hurt you too. You might have a stroke or a heart attack. Your blood pressure may skyrocket and your eyes may twitch. You have to back off.

The result of over achieving ( I mean over work) is that burnout occurs. To avoid this you should plan your work schedule as carefully as you plan the work. You are human and not an untiring machine. You need time for exercise and recreation. You need time with your family. You can’t exclude all civic functions and church functions. You should try to live a normal although very active life.

Edison found that a brief nap helps.

Debt: A major cause of stress

In our day and age, debt is a major cause of stress. Bill collectors knocking on the door, calling on the telephone, garnishing wages, and all the other things they do to collect owed money, works on our nerves to the point of mental breakdown. Unfortunately it also leads to bankruptcy and divorce.

The first thing you should do is write down your income in one column and your debts in the other. If your income it too low to pay off your debts then you must decide what to do.

One solution is to turn all of your bills into one gigantic debt. This is called a debt consolidation loan. If you decide to go this route, you must decide not to take on any more debt. Any extra cash you have at the end of the month should be put on this loan until you get it paid off. (Yes, you should put some money in savings.) Then, other for a car and a house, stay out of debt for the rest of your life. You will save enough money in interest to buy a yacht.

If you don’t want to consolidate your debt into a consolidation loan, then reduce your spending. Stop smoking, drinking, going out for meals, etc. Cut off the cable company (get free VCR tapes and DVDs at the library). Stop the newspaper. Learn to skimp and save.

Now, list all of your debts and their payments. Pay of the smallest as fast as you can by doubling payments, etc. Keep working up the list until the biggest is all that is remaining. Take the money that you are no longer paying on other debts and put it on the largest loan until it is paid off. Okay, you can now get yourself a dish or go back on cable but don’t start smoking again for heaven’s sake.

If you can’t resist the urge to spend then do it at yard sales. Put three bucks in your pocket and have a blast! You can make money having your own yard sales. There are a few of those "professional" yard sale people in our town. You make money and meet a lot of nice people. Another way to make a few extra bucks is to sale the stuff you buy at yard sales on Ebay.com. You can also buy books for pennies and sale them for dollars at Alibris.com or Amazon.com. I wrote a 64 page booklet on that subject. Email me if you want a copy. My email address is on my web site.

Let’s see: how many push-ups can you do?

The End